When I was younger I found out that I wasn’t very good with musical instruments. After a year of violin lessons my parents found this out as well. For whatever reason the bits of my brain that are responsible for math and being good at music got swapped out for other bits. Namely bits that think about war, and cats, and sometimes song parodies. It makes me wonder if I’m a descendent of Genghis Khan or if God has a strange sense of humour. Maybe both.
Now that I’m older and a little bit wiser, I know that while I still can’t read music or play instruments, I can sing so I’m not a complete lost cause. That being said I’m not so much a singer as a glorified parrot. While your musically minded folks are talking about what all those weird squiggly lines mean, I just sit there and mimic melodies until I get it right. Being mostly music illiterate I’ll listen to other tenors sing until I can copy them note for note. It’s not so much practice as it is beating notes to death and hammering their remains into songs. A musical Visigoth walking along the paved roads of the musically literate, sacking and pillaging their talent on my way to Rome.
Since singing in a choir is a team effort, in between bashing notes and trying to read music, my brain will drift off and come up with parodies for whatever song I’m learning at the time. For instance, take The Lion Sleeps Tonight. Pretty simple song, all the guys do is sing ‘o-wim-o-weh’. It’s one of those songs where you listen to it a few times and it’ll be stuck in your head forever. Add dash of boredom, a bit of keyser sozeing, and you have The Scarfie Sleeps Tonight. It’s easy enough that anyone can sing along (just add a few ‘o-wim-o-weh’s and you’re good to go).
-verse 1
In the city, the student city
The Scarfie sleeps tonight
In the city, the student city
The Scarfie sleeps tonight
Oh heeeeeeEeeEEeeee’s
Gonna go to town
Oh heeeeeEeeeEEeeee’s
Gonna go to town
-Chorus
O-wim-o-weh
O-wim-o-weh
X 14
-verse 2
In the Monkey, the filthy Monkey
The Scarfie pulls tonight
In the Monkey, the filthy Monkey
The Scarfie pulls tonight
Oh heeeeeeEeeEEeeee’s
Gonna get Chlamydia
Oh heeeeeeEeeEEeeee’s
Gonna get Chlamydia
-Chorus
O-wim-o-weh
O-wim-o-weh
X 14
-verse 3
Hush my proctor, don’t fear my proctor
The Scarfie sleeps tonight
Hush my proctor, don’t fear my proctor
The Scarfie sleeps tonight
Oh heeeeeeEeeEEeeee’s
Still has got Chlamydia
Oh heeeeeeEeeEEeeee’s
Still has got Chlamydia
I don’t think the world is ready for my brand of taboo song parodies, but that could just be me.
isaacinexile 